The best thing about this moment right now, is that it’s another moment of many lately, in which I show up.
I am scared to say it out loud, because I so don’t want to loose this feeling.
What is the feeling?
It’s flat out, inspired.
Heart glowing, dream making, ideas bubbling inspired.
Combined with action.
Yes, the doing part.
It’s been a long time of tiny inspired moments lost to self doubt, self critism that essentially built a ‘block’.
A ‘big f-off shiny’ block.
It’s been a long time of this type of inspired moments lost to the tummy of the big bad wolf. Chewed up piece by piece, until I couldn’t find them anymore. Even when I searched the wolf’s shit. Gone.
It’s been a little while of inspired moments put aside because being the mother of a baby swept me up on a day-by-day-moment-by-moment-wild-ride-of-love-sleep deprivation-“how on earths!?- Woha-this-is-amazingly-divinely-overwhelming-this-love-is-like-never-before-primaI-protective-listen-to-his-breath. Putting myself aside.
(From this, of course has come another kind of inspiring moments.)
The moment I refer to now though, is my own, a private world I’ve had in my heart and mind since I first discovered dance.
When my son sleeps I give myself the time and space to climb into that world and alongside that I am much better at catching moments to ‘administrate’ this world. Which is key to action, not letting it slip, finding spaces to show up, resources to make it, inviting others to collaborate with, planning, capturing, exploring, documenting etc etc.
I have more energy now.
Because I’m really trusting my heart again.
I’m having to work hard to not listen to the scars of the wolf and to my own internal trolls. If I keep doing that I will regret it.
My boy deserves to see his Mum doing what she loves.
I deserve to do what I love.
And not just because it feels good to do what you love…..but because I believe that by doing what you love you usually give more to society. You have the right energy, you foster the right tools and you make offerings that are gifts.
I have joined a tribe of mama-artists
I have started my mothership collective.
Watch this space for upcoming movement classes/workshops.
And a piece is brewing.